I've got that feeling. Anyone know what I'm talking about? It's that feeling of frustration at yourself -- that feeling of wondering if you'll ever shape up. The problem is not that I don't know the way out of this. The problem is actually doing it.
In the New Testament there is the story of the man who lived in the tombs, possessed of many devils. Immediately upon meeting the Savior, this man says "What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of God most high? I beseech thee, torment me not." (Luke 8:28)
Right now, that is sort of how I feel. The natural man in me is reacting just like this -- trying to push away the only true source of healing and comfort there is. In essence I'm saying to the Savior "torment me not" or in other words, "leave me alone". I hope I'm not the only one who gets like this sometimes…fortunately, there is more to the story.
Christ asks "What is thy name?" and the man answers, "My name is Legion: for we are many." (Mark 5:9)
Sometimes my shortcomings and weaknesses feel very overwhelming...like today. Their sheer number alone is very discouraging. My shortcomings and weaknesses are "legion" for they "are many". I look at almost every aspect of my life and see where I could and should be better, yet I'm far far far short of the mark.
In the Bible story, Christ casts the unclean spirits from the man who then "spoke to Jesus, and prayed him [Jesus] that he [the man] might be with him [Jesus]" (Mark 5:15). Again, this is something I can relate to. Many times in the past when I've gotten this feeling, I have been cleansed through Christ. I've felt the darkness lifted. I'm confident it can happen again. This, to me, is the spiritual message of this particular Bible story -- that Christ's atonement is able to rid us of the "legion" of weaknesses and shortcomings we have. I've felt this before and I'm sure that because Christ is patient, forgiving and merciful that I'll feel it again.
In fact…I'm already feeling a little bit better...
