"...Help Thou Mine Unbelief" -- My first post in over a year

Dearest family, friends and loved ones,

Sometimes it feels like an unfair double-whammy when Easter Sunday is followed by conference Sunday.  There is simply no time to regain one's composure.  And there is no time to get all your thoughts out in a coherent way before a whole new flood of thoughts pours in.  But sometimes (OK, most of the time) it serves to provide further light on a particular topic.  I started writing this last Sunday (Easter), but didn't have time to finish…and now I'm glad about that!  Much of what was taught in general conference this weekend were things I needed to hear.  But little hit me quite as hard as what Elder Holland taught (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XS7Pu31GYZw).  It was, to me, a very clear tender mercy that he chose this particular story in which to frame his teachings as it has been a story that has been on my mind for quite a while.  I already wish the transcript of his talk was available because there were so many new insights…so many powerful thoughts…I will have to be patient.

Regardless, I figure I'd better get these thoughts out now or I will end up distracted and never finish. 

-Eric (4/7/2013)

On this Easter Sabbath I sat down to write a letter to my sister who is serving a mission in Spain.  As I started writing, it quickly became clear that there were things bouncing around in my mind and heart that I wanted to share with all of you who have been so important to me and meant so much in my life.  I do not claim to be very wise and I'm certainly no authority, but these are parts of what I have learned over my lifetime and every once in a while I think it is appropriate to get such things down in a written / tangible form and share it with people.  It may be of no interest to anyone but myself, but at very least I have found that on the occasions that I feel strongly that I should write and share part of what I know and feel; that knowledge and feeling is engrained ever deeper into my own heart and it helps me in my daily struggle to live such principles.  I hope no one minds…

There has been a New Testament account that has been in my mind for the last several months.  It is the story of the father who brings his child to the Savior to be healed and cleansed from the dark spirit which had taken possession of him.  Matthew, Mark and Luke each give an account of this event (Matthew 17:14-21, Mark 9:14-29, Luke 9:37-43).  It is some of what I have learned as I've thought on this scriptural account that for whatever reason feels so pertinent right now.

The first thing that strikes me are the two perspectives from which one can view this account.  There is the perspective of the boy who is healed, certainly.  But there is also the perspective of the father who brings his son to Christ for healing.  Both perspectives, I think, teach important truths.

First, from the perspective of the father who brings his son to the Savior for healing.  Matthew records that "…there came to him [Christ] a certain man, kneeling down to him, and saying, Lord have mercy on my son: for he is lunatick, and sore vexed: for ofttimes he falleth into the fire and oft into the water" (Matt 17:14-15).  Mark's account is thus, "Master, I have brought unto thee my son, which hath a dumb spirit; and wheresoever he taketh him, he teareth him: and he foameth, and gnasheth with his teeth, and pineth away…" (Mark 9:17-18).  Luke's account of the father's plea is my favorite, "And behold a man of the company cried out, saying, Master, I beseech thee, look upon my son: for he is mine only child.  And, lo, a spirit taketh him, and he suddenly crieth out; and it teareth him that he foameth again, and bruising him hardly departeth from him." (Luke 9:38-39). 

I can only imagine what this father felt like.  This was his only son.  Someone he clearly loved very much and had worried long and hard over.  Mark gives us the additional piece of information that the son had been in this condition since his childhood (Mark 9:21).  I get the impression that the father had been caring for his son in this condition for a long time -- trying everything he could think of but to no avail.  Yet, he persisted in loving and caring for the child and was still willing to bring him first to the apostles and later to Christ himself.  I can imagine the sense of desperate hope this father had.  He cared so deeply about the well-being of his son that despite the years of struggle and what I'm sure must have felt like persistent failures to cure the boy, he nonetheless pressed on toward the one thing that ultimately could save his child. 

Mark's account is the most complete as to what happened once the father petitioned Christ for help. 

"And they brought him [the boy] unto him [Christ]: and when he [the boy] saw him [Christ], straightway the spirit tare him [the boy]; and he fell on the ground, and wallowed foaming." (Mark 9:20)

I'm struck by the strong language these verses use.  Words like "lunatick" and "teareth, foameth, gnasheth".  These denote a violent and all-consuming fight.  And while these words have some shock value, I think they perfectly convey the sense of the struggle we are involved in for the souls of mankind.  There is a perfect father of our spirits and his perfect son who want us to become as they are.  Equally true, there is a being of hate, rage and darkness who wishes for the destruction of all that is good and light -- particularly the precious souls of God's children.  There is no question as to who will be the ultimate victor of this struggle.  But that certainly does not diminish the buffeting which we experience as the father of lies does all he can to bring darkness and misery to each of us.

I'm reminded of how Elder Holland put it:

Most of us do not need any more reminders than we have already had that there is one who personifies "opposition in all things," that "an angel of God" fell "from heaven" and in so doing became "miserable forever." What a chilling destiny. Lehi teaches us that because this is Lucifer's fate, "he sought also the misery of all mankind" (2 Nephi 2:11, 17–18).

[Jeffrey R. Holland, "Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence", March 2, 1999.]

With this context, and again, trying to see this story from the perspective of the boy's father, I can't help but hear the desperation in the father's tone as he pleads with Christ for help.  "…but if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us…" (Mark 9:22).

• How many times have I felt or heard similar emotion as someone pleads for aid for their own life or for the life of someone they care for?

• How familiar is this tone to the missionaries in the field (and hopefully us missionaries here at home) as we try to take the glorious gospel message to so many who have no apparent interest?

• How common is this tone as one walks the corridors of a hospital or nursing home or even the halls of our own homes where sickness, disease, age or other frailties of this mortal condition make life so so difficult right now?

• How readily do we recognize this tone as we see those in our stewardships (be it those we home teach, visit teach, or anything else) struggle and fall away?

• How often is this the tone of my own heart and prayers when the trials or circumstance of life or the burden of my many many mistakes seem to mount up and be a figurative Everest before me?

The next verse seems to get most of the attention in books and Sunday school classes -- and well it should -- because here we are taught from the mouth of the Savior himself how to overcome the trials and circumstances that lead to our desperate pleas:  "Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth"  (Mark 9:23).

Certainly it is true that no sickness is too severe, no disease too disabling, no plague too destructive, no sin too great that it can not be cured by Christ and his great atonement.  I believe that is true.

...So, maybe it's just me.  Maybe I'm the only one who knows that while that verse is certainly true, in practice I simply fail to bring down the powers of heaven every time I'm burdened down by weakness, pain, sickness or sin…  Maybe it is just me.  But I don't think so…and it is for this reason that I relate to the father in this story and will be forever grateful that the Lord saw fit to keep the words of this little exchange intact and available for reading and study in his holy scripture.

To Christ's teaching that all things are possible to him that believeth, the father of the child "cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief"  (Mark 9:24).

I know I am imperfect.  I know that my faith is often imperfect.  Yet, I need help.  Many times I have similarly cried out as this father did, sometimes with figurative tears and sometimes with literal tears.  "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief!"  And then the miracle of miracles!  (here is where I would like to quote from Elder Holland's conference talk about leading with what faith we have instead of first leading with where we are lacking…but alas, that will have to wait for the conference transcripts to be released)

Christ in his infinite mercy.  Christ, who created all things, who has all power and who knows all things from the beginning to the end.  Christ, who looks beyond my many weaknesses and shortcomings and chooses to bless me today despite a perfect knowledge of past and future mistakes.  He blesses me with what I need.  (Certainly not always what I think I need, but what he knows I need from his all-seeing perspective).

Again, quoting from a previous talk given by Elder Holland,

"…soon, with that kind of love, we realize our days hold scores of thoroughfares leading to the Master and that every time we reach out, however feebly, for Him, we discover He has been anxiously trying to reach us. So we step, we strive, we seek, and we never yield…

…whatever other steps you may need to take to resolve [your] concerns, come first to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Trust in heaven’s promises. In that regard Alma’s testimony is my testimony: “I do know,” he says, “that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions."

This reliance upon the merciful nature of God is at the very center of the gospel Christ taught. I testify that the Savior’s Atonement lifts from us not only the burden of our sins but also the burden of our disappointments and sorrows, our heartaches and our despair.  From the beginning, trust in such help was to give us both a reason and a way to improve, an incentive to lay down our burdens and take up our salvation. There can and will be plenty of difficulties in life. Nevertheless, the soul that comes unto Christ, who knows His voice and strives to do as He did, finds a strength, as the hymn says, “beyond [his] own.”  The Savior reminds us that He has “graven [us] upon the palms of [His] hands.”  Considering the incomprehensible cost of the Crucifixion and Atonement, I promise you He is not going to turn His back on us now. When He says to the poor in spirit, “Come unto me,” He means He knows the way out and He knows the way up. He knows it because He has walked it. He knows the way because He is the way...

...If you are lonely, please know you can find comfort. If you are discouraged, please know you can find hope. If you are poor in spirit, please know you can be strengthened. If you feel you are broken, please know you can be mended."

[Jeffrey R. Holland, "Broken Things to Mend", April 2006]

Now, briefly, from the perspective of the boy who was healed.

We are not given much information about what he felt like.  We don't have the same kind of glimpses into his emotions that we do with his father.  Yet, we are told that when the evil spirit left, only a husk was left who many thought was dead (Mark 9:26).  But just as He does with us when He heals the parts of us that feel so damaged and broken that surely no life is left, Christ renewed and rejuvenated and brought back to life what seemed dead.

"But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up; and he arose."  (Mark 9:27)

Christ has done this same thing for me.  Spiritually, He has taken my hand and lifted me up time and again.  He fills and brings to life what previously felt so hopelessly gone.  He has done it for me in the past and the great miracle is that he will do it again.  As Elder Craig Cardon (Saturday morning session) reminded us that though we often feel that "recurring human weakness is beyond the Savior's willingness to help" the Savior will bless us with the cleansing power of his Atonement whenever we come to him with a broken heart and contrite spirit.

How grateful I am...

Staycation!

I've been on vacation this week. For the first time in memory I didn't travel anywhere for my week off. It's not that I don't want to hang with family, but finances didn't permit it this time so I've had a quiet week here in old San-Antone'.

If there was ever a perfect week to have days off down here, this was the week! We are just coming out of a reasonably wet winter and so things are green and pretty and the "famous" Texas wildflowers are out in force! Last year was so dry and brown and dead that I was convinced that this city doesn't know how to look pretty, but I've been proven wrong -- thankfully!

I've spent the week running, biking, napping, eating, reading, writing, socializing, visiting the temple, etc. It's all been very cathartic. I don't want to go back to work on Monday, but at least I don't feel like a need a vacation from my vacation.

Ever Wonder Why Gadolinium is Used for Contrast in MRI Scans?

I don't need another reason to be considered a nerd. Heaven knows I've got that vibe going strong without any help. This post and what it says about me will not help my case for "smooth, cool, Friday night date material" but I can't help myself….

I've gone through a fair number of books in the last year, several that I really liked. Some fun fiction/fantasy, some notable history/biography, some true crime, some science, etc. Nothing captured my interest, nostalgia and brain-juices more than "The Disappearing Spoon: And Other True Tales of Madness, Love, and the History of the World from the Periodic Table of the Elements" did.

This book hit my radar when I was flying out of San Antonio for a wedding sometime around August. A friend of mine who I happened to cross paths with in the airport was just starting this book. At my next opportunity I got my hands on it and pretty much devoured.

In a bit of an esoteric genera that I’ve learned that I really like (science books written by scientists for a non-science audience), this book goes through each element on the periodic table and gives a history and synopsis of it’s discovery, uses and most interestingly some of the stories and scandals associated with each element. Who knew that Mendeleev's creation could be so interesting!?!

Despite majoring in chemistry as an undergraduate, there were facts and descriptions of science that were eye-opening to me. Things that had always been mysterious (probably because textbooks and professors do not always do a good job at teaching these topics) were clarified. Because this book was written for non-scientists there was no assumptions made by the author that certain principles were already well understood and so concepts were put into historical and scientific context that is often neglected in the university classroom setting. I loved that it often felt like a novel yet increased my knowledge and understanding of a topic I have a passion for.

Again, what making this my “book of the year” says about me is probably not flattering, but for anyone looking for something that is deeper than just brain candy and yet manages to be a fun read at the same time, this books is highly recommended!

Books! Books! Books!

I have a dream house...

...I know! Me, a 30+ year old guy who's idea of decorating is keeping dirty dishes out of my sink. I have a dream house, or at least several ideas of what my dream house needs to contain.

The #1 most important feature is the study/library. It needs a lot of bookshelves (filled with books, of course!) It needs big windows looking out over something green and pretty. It needs a fireplace with a La-Z-Boy in front of it -- which I hope to utilize on rainy days when all you want to do is curl up in front of a warm fireplace while the rain pounds the nearby window.

These rooms have bits and pieces of what I want. None of them are quite perfect, but they give the general idea!

Tender Mercies

It's funny what will jog your memory...

I started the night shift today which means that I have weekday daytime hours open for the first time in…well…longer than I can remember. I plan to fit in my sleeping, but also run errands that I have been neglecting for a long time since many such errands require you to be free during weekday daytime hours!

One such errand is getting my car to the mechanic and worked on (bad oil leak…no bueno!) So I took my car in after getting off work this morning. This left me needing to get home, so I loaded my bike in the back seat and rode it home after dropping the car off.

Enter unexpected memory. As I was riding my bike home I passed a run-down corner market (the kind that fill many of the corners in this city. Kind of like a gas station except it does not sell gas), I had a sudden, shockingly powerful flashback to my mission days. I was on a bike, feeling rather exhausted, in moderate weather, with my right pants leg tucked into my sock to save it from the bike's sprockets and a big/cheap/bulky bike helmet on my head. Admittedly I didn't have a fellow-biker alongside to serve as a flashback-companion, but regardless it took me back. I remembered one very specific day in Wodonga. It was similar weather. A day no different than many that sandwiched it on both sides. Not really sure why this day is the one that has stuck in my head all these years versus one of the others. There was nothing to set it apart other than my companion and myself were feeling very tired that day and stopped at a small "Milk Bar" (the Australian equivalent of a corner market) and got ourselves a cheap ice cream to cool off. That was it. Nothing big. Nothing spectacular. But for some reason, almost exactly 10 years after it happened, this memory came back this morning and brought with it many of the emotions I was having at that time and with it yet another realization of what that time in my life has meant to me.

It makes me think of what Elder Bednar taught a few years back:

"This afternoon I want to describe and discuss a spiritual impression I received a few moments before I stepped to this pulpit during the Sunday morning session of general conference last October. Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf had just finished speaking and had declared his powerful witness of the Savior. Then we all stood together to sing the intermediatehymn that previously had been announced by President Gordon B. Hinckley. The intermediate hymn that morning was “Redeemer of Israel” (Hymns, no. 6).

Now, the music for the various conference sessions had been determined many weeks before—and obviously long before my new call to serve. If, however, I had been invited to suggest an intermediate hymn for that particular session of the conference—a hymn that would have been both edifying and spiritually soothing for me and for the congregation before my first address in this Conference Center—I would have selected my favorite hymn, “Redeemer of Israel.” Tears filled my eyes as I stood with you to sing that stirring hymn of the Restoration.

Near the conclusion of the singing, to my mind came this verse from the Book of Mormon: “But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance” (1 Ne. 1:20).

My mind was drawn immediately to Nephi’s phrase “the tender mercies of the Lord,” and I knew in that very moment I was experiencing just such a tender mercy. A loving Savior was sending me a most personal and timely message of comfort and reassurance through a hymn selected weeks previously. Some may count this experience as simply a nice coincidence, but I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Often, the Lord’s timing of His tender mercies helps us to both discern and acknowledge them."

It is only in retrospect that I can start to see how important and influential those mission years were. Some of it certainly had to do with me learning to be out, away from my family and "being my own man". Of course it did. But it is much, much more than just that. I have many shortcomings. Many that I recognize and probably many that I don't. Regardless, I feel a desire (a desire that, hopefully on occasion at least, translates into action) to live the gospel. That desire started with righteous parents teaching me correct principals, but it solidified and has persisted largely because of what I felt and experienced as a missionary.

And it was riding my bike past an old corner market that reminded me.

I needed that….

Many...

I've got that feeling. Anyone know what I'm talking about? It's that feeling of frustration at yourself -- that feeling of wondering if you'll ever shape up. The problem is not that I don't know the way out of this. The problem is actually doing it.

In the New Testament there is the story of the man who lived in the tombs, possessed of many devils. Immediately upon meeting the Savior, this man says "What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of God most high? I beseech thee, torment me not." (Luke 8:28)

Right now, that is sort of how I feel. The natural man in me is reacting just like this -- trying to push away the only true source of healing and comfort there is. In essence I'm saying to the Savior "torment me not" or in other words, "leave me alone". I hope I'm not the only one who gets like this sometimes…fortunately, there is more to the story.

Christ asks "What is thy name?" and the man answers, "My name is Legion: for we are many." (Mark 5:9)

Sometimes my shortcomings and weaknesses feel very overwhelming...like today. Their sheer number alone is very discouraging. My shortcomings and weaknesses are "legion" for they "are many". I look at almost every aspect of my life and see where I could and should be better, yet I'm far far far short of the mark.

In the Bible story, Christ casts the unclean spirits from the man who then "spoke to Jesus, and prayed him [Jesus] that he [the man] might be with him [Jesus]" (Mark 5:15). Again, this is something I can relate to. Many times in the past when I've gotten this feeling, I have been cleansed through Christ. I've felt the darkness lifted. I'm confident it can happen again. This, to me, is the spiritual message of this particular Bible story -- that Christ's atonement is able to rid us of the "legion" of weaknesses and shortcomings we have. I've felt this before and I'm sure that because Christ is patient, forgiving and merciful that I'll feel it again.

In fact…I'm already feeling a little bit better...

The Mental Shelf: "Hope", part 1

This has been a long one in coming…long enough that I am going to break it into pieces given that I don’t know when I will write the next section. This might turn into a year-long seriel…who knows.

Anyway, just about a year ago circumstances I found myself in made me really start wondering about this topic. Understanding has come “line upon line” and, as with so many things, there have been periods where those lines felt like they were coming fast and furious and other long periods where my attention was elsewhere and understanding came very slowly. Certainly there are many more “lines” to come and my understanding of this (and any other topic) will be in constant evolution, but here is a snapshot of what has come thus far.

Have you ever had there experience of thinking you were ready for something – thinking you were physically, mentally and spiritually prepared – only to discover when it happened that you were woefully unprepared? Instead of feeling like you hit the ground running, it feels like the ground hit you unaware at 200mph leaving you in a dark place, void of the ability to see any light ahead? The details are not important here, but over the last year I’ve had a few such moments. It got me wondering about “hope” (perhaps because I wasn’t feeling much of it during those times)…

My entire life I've heard about the 3 connected ideas of "Faith", "Hope" and "Charity". Like the appendages of a 3-legged stool, I know all three are important. I know that they are all interconnected in some way(s) and that should one of these 3 be removed, the structure would not be able to support weight. In some basic ways at least, I feel I understand what faith and charity are (even though it remains a life-long quest to increase my understanding and application of these characteristics in the way I live my life). However, hope has always been a little less clear to me -- more vague. It is harder to define and harder to identify, I think, than faith or charity. So, what exactly is it? When the scriptures speak of "hope", what exactly do they mean? What is hope based on? Or in other words, what knowledge must be in place in our minds before we are able to have the kind of hope spoken of in the scriptures? What is the precise interaction of faith and hope; where does one begin and the other end, or is such a point impossible to identify? Does hope build faith or does faith build hope? How does hope manifest itself in my life? Does it manifest the same in other's lives, or is hope an intensely personal thing like the ways each person feels the spirit a little differently? What does the absence of hope feel like and how can I identify when that is the condition I am experiencing? How is hope an "anchor"? (Ether 12:4) What does that mean in practical terms in my life? What are the fruits of hope? Or, in other words, what can we expect to feel or experience when we have hope?

I have thought much on these questions; read, prayed, studied and asked for the thoughts and opinions of others who's opinions I highly regard. I have found answers in all of these places and expect to continue to find answers. Just as in everything in the gospel, I don't think I've come to completely understand the depths of what hope truly is, but I do feel I understand it better than I used to. I expect that what I end up writing here will be useful as a starting ground or a foundation upon which a lifetime of further learning can be added. I simply wanted to try and write some of this down in order to help what I have learned become more organized and clear in my mind.

DEFINING HOPE

To begin, I think the world and the scriptures seem to use the word "hope" a little differently. In the world's definition, "to hope" simply means "to wish" or "to want". For example, how many times have I said something like "I hope I do well on my upcoming test" or "I hope (insert anything I want at the time) happens." These statements express nothing much deeper than what I want to have happen or how I would like a particular situation to pan-out. Now, there is nothing wrong with these statements. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way or expressing these kind of things. But I don't think they convey the depths of what the scriptures express when they use the word "hope".

Having said that, what is the scriptural meaning of "hope"? I have posed this question to several people and the definition that seems most complete and concise is that hope, in a scriptural sense means to have a joyful assurance of blessings to come (see Alma 22:15-16, Ether 12:4,8-9, Moroni 7:48). This, I think is a lot more than simply wanting or wishing. I think a scriptural example that I heard years ago best shows what is meant in the scriptures by the word hope and how it may differ from simply wanting or wishing.

A quick review of the story of Abraham, Sara & Isaac:

· Abraham & Sara are OLD, but receive the promise that they will have posterity and that the blessings of the gospel would come to the earth through their posterity (see Genesis ch. 18 & Abr. ch. 2). Under normal circumstances, this would be impossible because Sara was too old to have a baby by traditional methods – the only way this blessing could be fulfilled was by divine intervention.

· Indeed, the Lord fulfilled his promise and Sara had a son, Isaac.

· The remainder of the story is well known: the Lord commands Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Abraham, Isaac and Sara’s faithfulness were tested in what is now known as an “Abrahamic Trial” (see D&C 101:1-5)

o This story has many applications to living a faithful life, though it is not what I wish to focus on. I want to take a minute and focus on the hope Abraham & Sara needed in this situation.

With this story in mind, we turn to the quintessential scriptural chapter on faith: Hebrews ch. 11

In Hebrews 11:11, we read:

Through faith also Sara herself received strength

To conceive seed, and was delivered

of a child when she was past age,

because she judged him faithful who had promised.

(emphasis added)

Let me re-emphasize the line in this verse that says, “…she [Sara] judged him [The Lord] faithful who had promised…”

Certainly the Lord is our judge and the time will come when we will make an accounting to him for how we have lived our lives. This is what automatically jumps to my mind when I hear the word “judge” in a gospel context – but in a very different sort of way, we are to judge the lord just as Sara did. What do I mean by saying we are supposed to judge the lord? When the Lord promised Sara the blessing of having a child in her old age, Sara could have judged that promise to be absurd. She could have “judged the lord” and determined that such a blessing was impossible, or perhaps she could have believed that such a miracle was within the Lord’s power, but not something that he would ever bless her with. But this is not what Sara did. In a very real way, Sara judged the lord and found him “faithful”, meaning that she not only believed that the Lord had the power to bless her with a child, but also believed that such a blessing could be given to her. In other words, Sarah felt an assurance that what the Lord promised to her, the Lord would deliver on.

With this insight, Hebrews 11:6 gains even more meaning for me:

But without faith it is impossible

to please him: for he that cometh to God must

believe that he is, and that he is a

rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

In order to exercise faith, and indeed, in order to please God, we must do a couple of things. First, we must believe that God is – meaning we must believe that God is real, that he is there; this is a logical first step. Second (and this is where I believe most members of the church have a problem. At least I know it is where I often start having a problem) we must believe that God is a rewarder of those who seek his blessing. In other words, we must “judge the Lord faithful” of the promises He has made to us (especially that of eternal life); we must truly believe that He can & will uphold His promise and that His promises apply to us personally. We can and must have an assurance that the Lord will deliver on His promises. Without these two things, we can not please the Lord, nor can we receive the promised blessings.

Unfortunately, I think it is all too easy to judge the lord unfaithful, or in other words, to believe that either:

1. The promise that the Lord gives to us (particularly those promises pertaining to eternal life) are not really as great as the Lord says it is, and that it is a fair trade to give up eternal life for a momentary pleasure

OR

2. Believe that eternal life is great, but that it is way too far out of reach for a normal person like me. The Lord’s promise of eternal life doesn’t apply to a rotten sinner like me and that I am too far gone to be helped.

This is essentially the same point that Stephen Robinson made in his book Believing Christ. Robinson puts it this way:

Unfortunately, there are many members of the church who simply do not believe this [that the atonement can make us clean]. Though they claim to have testimonies of Christ and of his gospel, they reject the witness of the scriptures and of the prophets about the good news of Christ’s atonement. Often these people naively hold on to mutually contradictory propositions without even realizing the nature of the contradiction. For example, they may believe that the Church is true, that Jesus is the Christ and that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, while at the same time refusing to accept the possibility of their own complete forgiveness and eventual exaltation in the kingdom of God. They believe in Christ, but they do not believe Christ. He says, “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow. I can make you pure and worthy and celestial,” and they answer back, “No, you can’t. The gospel only works for other people; it won’t work for me.”

Yet the “good news” of the gospel is good news to me not because it promises that other people who are better than I am can be saved, but because it promises that I can be saved – wretched, inadequate, and imperfect me. And until I accept that possibility, until I believe Christ when he says he can bring me into his kingdom and set me on a throne, I have not really accepted the good news of the gospel – I have only accepted the messenger while rejecting his wonderful message.

THE FOUNDATION OF HOPE

Now, going back to the story of Sarah, I think Sarah not only demonstrated great faith but I think the whole episode shows her hope in Christ. I think it also shows the foundation hope must be based on. What do I mean by this? The prophet Joseph Smith taught in the Lectures on Faith that faith must be built on a foundation. In other words, we must have a knowledge base upon which our faith rests: We must know that God lives before we can exercise faith in Him. We must have a knowledge of his character and attributes – that He is merciful and just, loving, all-knowing and all-powerful, etc. This knowledge must be in place and serve as a foundation upon which our faith is built. Similarly, I think hope must be built on a foundation. Particularly, it must be built on the foundation of an understanding of God's attributes and character.

Did Sarah understand the character of God? Did she understand God's goodness and mercy? His quickness/willingness/eagerness to bless us? Did she understand that the years and years of waiting were not a punishment but rather a part of a grander plan? Did she understand that since God has promised something that it will certainly come to pass? Did she understand His endless power, patience, justice, mercy and a million other parts and pieces that when taken collectively build a mosaic of what God is like? I think that certainly the answer to all these questions is yes! Without this knowledge of God's character, I don't think Sarah could have had the hope (substitute the word "assurance") that she did and would not have been able to receive the promised blessing. In summary, I think that the foundation upon which hope is built is an understanding of God's perfect character and nature.

I like the way S. Michael Wilcox puts it:

Our knowledge of the character and reputation of Christ allows us to “come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy” (Hebrews 4:16)…We worship the Savior not only because he is a God, but because he is the kind of God he is. A principal role of the scriptures, therefore, is to give us a clear picture of the nature of the Father and his Son. Our hope rests in that nature. [S. Michael Wilcox, “Hope: An Anchor to the Soul”, Deseret Book Company, 1999, p. 10]

With all this in mind, Jacob 4:6 begins to make more sense to me.

Wherefore, we search the prophets, and we have many revelations and the spirit of prophecy; and having all these witnesses we obtain a hope, and our faith becometh unshaken…