Saturday, September 17, 2011

The Mental Shelf: "Hope", part 1

This has been a long one in coming…long enough that I am going to break it into pieces given that I don’t know when I will write the next section. This might turn into a year-long seriel…who knows.


Anyway, just about a year ago circumstances I found myself in made me really start wondering about this topic. Understanding has come “line upon line” and, as with so many things, there have been periods where those lines felt like they were coming fast and furious and other long periods where my attention was elsewhere and understanding came very slowly. Certainly there are many more “lines” to come and my understanding of this (and any other topic) will be in constant evolution, but here is a snapshot of what has come thus far.



Have you ever had there experience of thinking you were ready for something – thinking you were physically, mentally and spiritually prepared – only to discover when it happened that you were woefully unprepared? Instead of feeling like you hit the ground running, it feels like the ground hit you unaware at 200mph leaving you in a dark place, void of the ability to see any light ahead? The details are not important here, but over the last year I’ve had a few such moments. It got me wondering about “hope” (perhaps because I wasn’t feeling much of it during those times)…



My entire life I've heard about the 3 connected ideas of "Faith", "Hope" and "Charity". Like the appendages of a 3-legged stool, I know all three are important. I know that they are all interconnected in some way(s) and that should one of these 3 be removed, the structure would not be able to support weight. In some basic ways at least, I feel I understand what faith and charity are (even though it remains a life-long quest to increase my understanding and application of these characteristics in the way I live my life). However, hope has always been a little less clear to me -- more vague. It is harder to define and harder to identify, I think, than faith or charity. So, what exactly is it? When the scriptures speak of "hope", what exactly do they mean? What is hope based on? Or in other words, what knowledge must be in place in our minds before we are able to have the kind of hope spoken of in the scriptures? What is the precise interaction of faith and hope; where does one begin and the other end, or is such a point impossible to identify? Does hope build faith or does faith build hope? How does hope manifest itself in my life? Does it manifest the same in other's lives, or is hope an intensely personal thing like the ways each person feels the spirit a little differently? What does the absence of hope feel like and how can I identify when that is the condition I am experiencing? How is hope an "anchor"? (Ether 12:4) What does that mean in practical terms in my life? What are the fruits of hope? Or, in other words, what can we expect to feel or experience when we have hope?

I have thought much on these questions; read, prayed, studied and asked for the thoughts and opinions of others who's opinions I highly regard. I have found answers in all of these places and expect to continue to find answers. Just as in everything in the gospel, I don't think I've come to completely understand the depths of what hope truly is, but I do feel I understand it better than I used to. I expect that what I end up writing here will be useful as a starting ground or a foundation upon which a lifetime of further learning can be added. I simply wanted to try and write some of this down in order to help what I have learned become more organized and clear in my mind.


DEFINING HOPE

To begin, I think the world and the scriptures seem to use the word "hope" a little differently. In the world's definition, "to hope" simply means "to wish" or "to want". For example, how many times have I said something like "I hope I do well on my upcoming test" or "I hope (insert anything I want at the time) happens." These statements express nothing much deeper than what I want to have happen or how I would like a particular situation to pan-out. Now, there is nothing wrong with these statements. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way or expressing these kind of things. But I don't think they convey the depths of what the scriptures express when they use the word "hope".



Having said that, what is the scriptural meaning of "hope"? I have posed this question to several people and the definition that seems most complete and concise is that hope, in a scriptural sense means to have a joyful assurance of blessings to come (see Alma 22:15-16, Ether 12:4,8-9, Moroni 7:48). This, I think is a lot more than simply wanting or wishing. I think a scriptural example that I heard years ago best shows what is meant in the scriptures by the word hope and how it may differ from simply wanting or wishing.


A quick review of the story of Abraham, Sara & Isaac:

· Abraham & Sara are OLD, but receive the promise that they will have posterity and that the blessings of the gospel would come to the earth through their posterity (see Genesis ch. 18 & Abr. ch. 2). Under normal circumstances, this would be impossible because Sara was too old to have a baby by traditional methods – the only way this blessing could be fulfilled was by divine intervention.

· Indeed, the Lord fulfilled his promise and Sara had a son, Isaac.

· The remainder of the story is well known: the Lord commands Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Abraham, Isaac and Sara’s faithfulness were tested in what is now known as an “Abrahamic Trial” (see D&C 101:1-5)

o This story has many applications to living a faithful life, though it is not what I wish to focus on. I want to take a minute and focus on the hope Abraham & Sara needed in this situation.

With this story in mind, we turn to the quintessential scriptural chapter on faith: Hebrews ch. 11


In Hebrews 11:11, we read:

Through faith also Sara herself received strength

To conceive seed, and was delivered

of a child when she was past age,

because she judged him faithful who had promised.

(emphasis added)

Let me re-emphasize the line in this verse that says, “…she [Sara] judged him [The Lord] faithful who had promised…”


Certainly the Lord is our judge and the time will come when we will make an accounting to him for how we have lived our lives. This is what automatically jumps to my mind when I hear the word “judge” in a gospel context – but in a very different sort of way, we are to judge the lord just as Sara did. What do I mean by saying we are supposed to judge the lord? When the Lord promised Sara the blessing of having a child in her old age, Sara could have judged that promise to be absurd. She could have “judged the lord” and determined that such a blessing was impossible, or perhaps she could have believed that such a miracle was within the Lord’s power, but not something that he would ever bless her with. But this is not what Sara did. In a very real way, Sara judged the lord and found him “faithful”, meaning that she not only believed that the Lord had the power to bless her with a child, but also believed that such a blessing could be given to her. In other words, Sarah felt an assurance that what the Lord promised to her, the Lord would deliver on.


With this insight, Hebrews 11:6 gains even more meaning for me:

But without faith it is impossible

to please him: for he that cometh to God must

believe that he is, and that he is a

rewarder of them that diligently seek him.


In order to exercise faith, and indeed, in order to please God, we must do a couple of things. First, we must believe that God is – meaning we must believe that God is real, that he is there; this is a logical first step. Second (and this is where I believe most members of the church have a problem. At least I know it is where I often start having a problem) we must believe that God is a rewarder of those who seek his blessing. In other words, we must “judge the Lord faithful” of the promises He has made to us (especially that of eternal life); we must truly believe that He can & will uphold His promise and that His promises apply to us personally. We can and must have an assurance that the Lord will deliver on His promises. Without these two things, we can not please the Lord, nor can we receive the promised blessings.


Unfortunately, I think it is all too easy to judge the lord unfaithful, or in other words, to believe that either:

1. The promise that the Lord gives to us (particularly those promises pertaining to eternal life) are not really as great as the Lord says it is, and that it is a fair trade to give up eternal life for a momentary pleasure

OR

2. Believe that eternal life is great, but that it is way too far out of reach for a normal person like me. The Lord’s promise of eternal life doesn’t apply to a rotten sinner like me and that I am too far gone to be helped.


This is essentially the same point that Stephen Robinson made in his book Believing Christ. Robinson puts it this way:

Unfortunately, there are many members of the church who simply do not believe this [that the atonement can make us clean]. Though they claim to have testimonies of Christ and of his gospel, they reject the witness of the scriptures and of the prophets about the good news of Christ’s atonement. Often these people naively hold on to mutually contradictory propositions without even realizing the nature of the contradiction. For example, they may believe that the Church is true, that Jesus is the Christ and that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, while at the same time refusing to accept the possibility of their own complete forgiveness and eventual exaltation in the kingdom of God. They believe in Christ, but they do not believe Christ. He says, “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow. I can make you pure and worthy and celestial,” and they answer back, “No, you can’t. The gospel only works for other people; it won’t work for me.”

Yet the “good news” of the gospel is good news to me not because it promises that other people who are better than I am can be saved, but because it promises that I can be saved – wretched, inadequate, and imperfect me. And until I accept that possibility, until I believe Christ when he says he can bring me into his kingdom and set me on a throne, I have not really accepted the good news of the gospel – I have only accepted the messenger while rejecting his wonderful message.

THE FOUNDATION OF HOPE

Now, going back to the story of Sarah, I think Sarah not only demonstrated great faith but I think the whole episode shows her hope in Christ. I think it also shows the foundation hope must be based on. What do I mean by this? The prophet Joseph Smith taught in the Lectures on Faith that faith must be built on a foundation. In other words, we must have a knowledge base upon which our faith rests: We must know that God lives before we can exercise faith in Him. We must have a knowledge of his character and attributes – that He is merciful and just, loving, all-knowing and all-powerful, etc. This knowledge must be in place and serve as a foundation upon which our faith is built. Similarly, I think hope must be built on a foundation. Particularly, it must be built on the foundation of an understanding of God's attributes and character.


Did Sarah understand the character of God? Did she understand God's goodness and mercy? His quickness/willingness/eagerness to bless us? Did she understand that the years and years of waiting were not a punishment but rather a part of a grander plan? Did she understand that since God has promised something that it will certainly come to pass? Did she understand His endless power, patience, justice, mercy and a million other parts and pieces that when taken collectively build a mosaic of what God is like? I think that certainly the answer to all these questions is yes! Without this knowledge of God's character, I don't think Sarah could have had the hope (substitute the word "assurance") that she did and would not have been able to receive the promised blessing. In summary, I think that the foundation upon which hope is built is an understanding of God's perfect character and nature.


I like the way S. Michael Wilcox puts it:

Our knowledge of the character and reputation of Christ allows us to “come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy” (Hebrews 4:16)…We worship the Savior not only because he is a God, but because he is the kind of God he is. A principal role of the scriptures, therefore, is to give us a clear picture of the nature of the Father and his Son. Our hope rests in that nature. [S. Michael Wilcox, “Hope: An Anchor to the Soul”, Deseret Book Company, 1999, p. 10]


With all this in mind, Jacob 4:6 begins to make more sense to me.

Wherefore, we search the prophets, and we have many revelations and the spirit of prophecy; and having all these witnesses we obtain a hope, and our faith becometh unshaken…



Sunday, July 31, 2011

Wisconsin, the dairy and awesomness capital of America

I'm having a quiet Sunday morning here in Wisconsin. It was a little over a year ago since I had a morning like this in this place. In truth it feels a little weird. So much feels familiar. So much is unchanged. In a lot of ways it feels like I never left...but in my head I know that I live 2000 miles away and I have a years worth of memories confirming that fact as well. I know my life is now in Texas, but there is so much that feels right here. As I said, it is a little weird.

I flew in yesterday. The flight wasn't bad, though I'm pretty sure they had the rookie pilot and crew-in-training on the flight from Minneapolis to Milwaukee -- "the local time here in..." (pause...whispered conversation still audible over the PA system..."what city are we in?"...) "the local time here in Milwaukee is 12:15" (it was actually 11:15). Regardless I made it in one piece. I got picked up by a good friend and got a chance to catch up a little. We met up with some other folks, went to lunch and then met up with even more folks. Went for a swim, talked, laughed. It was good times. Then, because I am now back in a place that is not a GUZILLION degrees and that has great running trails (seriously, Milwaukee park system is the best ever) I went for a nice little run. Then dinner at a favorite Wisconsin resturant (I love you and miss you Noodles & Co), then a movie with popcorn and water (one of those Wisconsin traditions I have really really missed this last year) then talking and laughing until 2:00am. **sigh of contentment** It was a good day!

I'm excited for church today. There are a lot of people I hope to see again (most of which do not know I'm in town). Should be fun!

Friday, July 29, 2011

The Best Laid Plans...

"...The best laid schemes of mice and men, Go often askew..."
Robert Burns
"To A Mouse"

Despite my best intentions it has been a week since my last blog entry. I wish I could, in all truth, say that it was because every minute has been filled with exciting stories of saving lives, uplifting stories of good deeds, heartwarming stories of personal enrichment and selfless service or even just a plain old date or two. The truth is much more mundane however. While it is true that I have been on call 4 of the last 7 nights and things have certainly kept rollin' along at a brisk pace, that still leaves time that in which I was less than productive. I watched TV. I was feeling lazy/tired...sue me.

Tomorrow I head for Wisconsin. It has been a little over a year since I moved from the frozen tundra of the north to the arid Sahara of south Texas. Trips like this seem to be cause for a little nostalgia (at least they are for me). I remember when I got accepted to medical school in Milwaukee and nowhere else, I was a little disappointed. I didn't want to live in Milwaukee. My mental image of the city was an inner-city landscape of cement, pipes and smokestacks. Kind of like if the old Geneva Steel plant had been blown up to city size.

Ahhh...the ignorance of youth...

In short, those years in Milwaukee became some of the most meaningful and defining years of my life. The causes and reasons for this are many and I can't begin to touch on all of them but regardless, I'm beside-myself-excited to get back up there and see people and yes, even the city...(turns out Milwaukee is a gorgeous city...at least it is in the spring/summer/fall. And as hard as this is for me to believe, the weather up there is better than it is down here right now, especially considering the AC in my car doesn't work). There will inevitably be more people I want to see and more things I want to do then I will have time for, but I'll take whatever I can get at this point! :)

OK, better go pack now...


Friday, July 22, 2011

The Way of the Dinosaur

A friend of mine recently posted the following article on her Facebook page (http://shopping.yahoo.com/articles/yshoppingarticles/648/100-things-your-kids-may-never-know-about/).

For those who do not take the time to link to it, the article is basically a list of items or activities that folks my age (early 30's) or older are likely to have grown up with but that have gone the way of the dinosaur. Like the vinyl records and and fat polyester ties of an even earlier generation, these things are only cool or remembered as "retro" items or activities. The modern coming of age experience will most likely not incorportate the items on this list.

As I read through it, there are some that I miss and some that make me roll my eyes and mutter "good riddance". The following is a list of some of these items and why I feel that way.

Things I will NOT miss:




  • Old music and video techology -- I don't understand the feeling of missing cassette tapes, walkmans, VHS, and even minidiscs (a techology I invested $350 in shortly after I returned from Australia in 2001). Modern MP3, DVD, and iPod are superior in every way. Less bulky, better battery life, more versitility, faster use, better sound/picture, etc. Call me crazy, but I just don't miss fast-forwarding a cassette only to overshoot, then have to rewined only to overshoot again and then have to fast-forward again, ad infinitum. Give me easy iPod navigation and DVD menus!


  • Floppy disks -- USB drives are again superior in every way. They hold more data, they are faster, they are easier to transport, they fail less...and subesequently that chemistry assignment will not need to be redone last minute because the disc mysteriously erased itself (curse you 3.5 inch floppy!)


  • Road maps/MapQuest -- Few things worse than trying to navigate the freeway system in a large city you have never been in by simultaniously watching the road and by glancing down at a map every 3 seconds. Things got even worse when you missed an exit...nuff said...the inventor of GPS should get the Nobel Peace Prize for how much he/she has decreased my road rage.


  • 35mm Film cameras -- I love digital photography. That is all.


Things I WILL miss:





  • Encyclopedia sets -- I'm one of those people who think that books look great! My dream house will have a big library with built in book cases, a fireplace and a big comfortable La-Z-Boy chair. As much as I love Wikipedia and use it ALL the time, I miss a nice, large, asthetic, formitable, encyclopedia set that sits on a bookcase and that is your "go to" reference for 4th grade state reports, etc.


  • 8 or 16 Bit Nintendo -- Give me the 2-D Super Mario who jumped on mushrooms and Goombas any day. I get sea sick when I try to watch Halo, Modern Warfare or whatever. I'd even take a Sega Genesis over the new Xbox. Remember the old 8-bit Nintendo running pad that came with the Olympics game? Totally smokes the Dance-Dance-Revolution thing!


  • Playing outside -- Not only do I miss doing this myself (I feel like I'm inside all the time) but I'm not sure the last time I saw a group of kids playing a pickup game of road hockey.


  • Calvin & Hobbs / The Far Side -- The world changed in 1995 when both of these comic strips ended in the same year. You know a comic was good when 15+ years later you still regularly recall them and still find them hillarious.


Thursday, July 21, 2011

THOR -- Our Mighty Cardboard Boat

I was scanning an old hard drive of mine and found an archive of old movies I had made. It brought back a lot of good college memories. The following movie is of one event -- one of a thousand fun memories (this one just so happened to be better documented than most). YouTube will only allow movies that are 15 minutes or less, so I'll have to post more of my videos in pieces but this is a good place to start. Makes me realize I need to get in touch with these guys again...college was the best!


The Dog Days of Summer (and super powers)

It is always hot these days in south Texas...always…

The heat got my brain to wondering about what the phrase "The Dog Days of Summer" means, because I'm pretty sure that is what we are experiencing down here (my perception of this is almost certainly contributed to by the fact my car's air conditioning has not worked since January). According to "The Oracle" (my name for Wikipedia) and at least one other random web site, the phrase goes back to Roman days. Apparently it means "the hottest and muggiest part of the season". It makes reference to the "dog star" Sirius which is the brightest star in the sky (excluding the Sun, of course). It is bright enough that the Romans believed that earth received heat from it.

In the summer, Sirius rises and sets with the sun. During late July Sirius is in conjunction with the sun, and the ancients believed that its heat added to the heat of the sun, creating a stretch of hot and sultry weather. They named this period of time, from 20 days before the conjunction to 20 days after, “dog days” after the dog star.

Interesting, no?

As uncomfortable as long afternoon rides in my car can be, that does not mean I do not enjoy certain parts of this heat. For example, I can air dry my clothes faster (and cheaper) than by using my clothes dryer. I can BBQ at any time of the morning, afternoon or evening and it doesn't feel weird (see my delicious lunch from the other afternoon).




I've have learned however, that it is important to do your jogging in the mornings or evenings otherwise this is what ends up happening...not pretty...



On a totally different note, sometimes I wish I had a super power (apparently I watch too many movies). If I could choose a super power it might be strength or memory...or perhaps flight. These guys are about as close having a super power as anyone I can think of...TOTALLY AWESOME!


Tuesday, July 19, 2011

(Singing?) In The Rain

It is raining outside. Down here in San Antonio that is rare enough that I feel justified in blogging about it.


I love rain. I'm not talking about the kind of rain that washes the road dust off your car. I'm talking about the rain that puts your paint job in jeopardy. Not rain that will mess up your carefully crafted hair gel but the kind that can strip fingerprints. I've never lived in a place that really rains on a regular basis, so maybe I'd start feeling differently if I had to live with it daily, but from my perspective there are few things as theraputic for the soul as a good stiff rainstorm!


It makes me think about truly memorable storms I've experienced...


I remember a storm while on my mission. I was tracting with Elder Gough in Wagga Wagga (yes, that is really the town's name). It hit fast. We went from sunny to downpoar in probably about 45 minutes. A lady who had no interest in listening to a discussion nevertheless took pitty on us and let us stand on her porch for 30 minutes because the street, sidewalk, lawn and just about everywhere else was ankle deep. It was actually a little awkward because both of us had been missionaries for over a year and had very little to talk about besides the message and the lady stood there with us for those 30 minutes until finally Gough and I just decided it was time to move on. Our leather shoes were never quite the same afterwards, but the memory was totally worth it!


I also remember the "Great Utah Tornado" of 1999. I was groundskeeping at the golf course. I was trimming the sand traps near the green on hole 3 pretty much working on my tan when the sky darkened and then exploded. As I'm sure there would be at any golf course there were a few old stalwarts who tried to play through but for most of us the day was over. After about 45 minutes my boss gave us the rest of the day off. It wasn't until the car ride home that I heard Salt Lake had been hit by a tornado.


There was a few memorable storms the summer I was in Atlanta and one I remember in Milwaukee. Most recently I was on vacation in West Virginia with my parents and brother. We were biking a trail when a storm came up. What made this storm memorable was not so much the wet rain, but the frozen kind. At first the hail stones were small and I figured my bike helmet would protect me. After a few minutes the stones had progressed to pea-sized and then...well, they eventually got to be about ping-pong ball sized. This picture shows some of them but I think they got even slightly bigger than this.




As much as these stung my knuckles when they hit; as is so often the case it was a storm that turned this event from something fun into something legendary. And you know, maybe I shouldn't be surprised...sometimes it is the "storms" that make turn something ordinary into something just a little more memorable!